ADDitude Magazine asked their readers to share the truths about attention deficit disorder that they most wish the neurotypical world would understand and respect. The following are some of the most poignant responses from adults with ADHD.
1. My ADHD is Bigger Than Any Box You Force Me Into
“My ADHD fellows, stop seeing yourselves as broken and start noticing that, with attention deficit disorder, you have a superpower that is literally unstoppable. You can provide something new to the world through your quirky passion, follow-through, and joy of pursuing that which does hold your attention.”
2. The Symptoms of My ADHD Are Invisible… Unless You Know Where to Look
“I wish the world could tell the difference between the person I am, and how ADHD affects that person. I wish they could see how hard I try. I wish I could really clearly understand that myself, because sometimes I realize it and sometimes I don’t. Please, world, understand what is already known about ADHD, and try to support and help those who hold it on their shoulders, like a heavy, invisible cloak.”
3. ADHD Erodes Self Esteem, Which Exacerbates ADHD, Which Further Erodes Self Esteem
“Frustration, pain, and low self-esteem are all a direct result of ADHD. Never meeting neurotypical expectations beats up the emotions of some with ADHD. Overreactions and meltdowns are all part of ADHD, but they are compounded by the emotional anguish that comes from taunts and criticism. Everyone with ADHD needs to know they are worthy, capable, and needed. So all you square pegs stop trying to fit into round holes and start carving out your own square niche.”
“I wish the world knew what it means to be forgiving and understanding of neurodiversity; to accommodate our weaknesses and celebrate our strengths.”
4. We Really Don’t Mean to Cause Offense
“People with ADHD don’t mean anything personally. We want to call, write, and meet up, but anything that isn’t happening now is too damn hard to keep track of. We don’t want to drop off the face of the Earth, but we just can’t get our damn heads in order long enough to stay on it! In short, world, we don’t want to hurt you. We don’t mean to when we do. And we know that, most of the time, you don’t want to hurt us either. We’re sorry that the wires get crossed while trying to communicate that.”
5. My Mind Works Differently, and That’s Beautiful
“I wish that ADHD were widely understood to be a valid, nonlinear way of thinking. In the linear world that neurotypical people inhabit, ADHD is a deficit only because that’s not the way most people think and process information. There is nothing deficient or impaired with US. It’s the contexts which we most often encounter that disable us.”
6. We Are Trying Our Best to Master Executive Function
“Individuals with ADHD are not choosing to be bad, forgetful, impulsive, or disorganized. They have often come up with their own ways of coping. If you are someone without ADHD, imagine you are asked to write your name in cursive with your non-dominant hand. At the same time, you are asked to make circles with your right foot, move your left foot side to side, and tap the top of your head with your dominate hand. Not very easy? That’s how much effort it takes someone with ADHD to do what those without ADHD deem simple and easy.”
7. We Know Our ADHD Can Frustrate You (So Please Stop Telling Us!)
“ADHD is hard for everyone. It doesn’t just impact the individual; it impacts the single mom who’s trying her best to help, it impacts the little brother who doesn’t understand what ADHD is but sees the symptoms every day, it impacts teachers and friends. Everyone has to deal with it. Find a way to work around it and work with it. We don’t choose to have ADHD in our lives; ADHD chose us.”
8. Criticism Can Be Devastating — Especially When We’re Trying Our Best
“Those of us who have ADHD or who support people with ADHD are doing our best. I wish the world could walk in our shoes for just a short period of time to truly understand how taxing ADHD can be — and how it affects just about everything! I wish the world were more tolerant and accepting in general – everyone struggles with something and ADHD (no matter if you are the patient or the caregiver) is our struggle. Don’t judge. Be tolerant and accepting of everyone no matter the person, problem, or issue — known or unknown.”
Did you know you are entitled to accommodations in the workplace if you have a documented disability? Check out this article for expert tips on finding employment that is supportive of your needs and how and when to discuss accommodations with an employer.
9. It’s Worth Your While to Look Past My ADHD
“All my life, I’ve felt like a square peg in a round hole — and no amount of threatening, cajoling, or therapy is going to make me round. When I do something stupid, it doesn’t mean that I’m stupid. When I appear disorganized, it doesn’t mean that I’m lazy. When I’m late, it doesn’t mean that I’m inconsiderate. I wish people knew that, when my expression makes me look like I’ve ‘checked out,’ it’s because I am actually processing about 10 things at the same time and I’ll be right back. I wish people knew that I am actually intelligent and that, if they would just get into my world and my head a little bit, I could bring incredible stuff to the workplace and to relationships.”
10. We Are Moving Toward a Neurodiverse Future
“I wish the world knew what it means to be forgiving and understanding of neurodiversity; to accommodate our weaknesses and celebrate our strengths. It may seem a pain to change environments and procedures to fit those differences, but like all accommodations, they benefit everyone with both permanent and temporary differences. Creating check-ins and helping prioritize workloads are critical for ADHD worker success, and those same ADHD accommodations can help other workers keep on task and feel valued. Flexible schedules to help people with ADHD who are slow to wake up also help single parents get their kids on the bus in the morning. Creating schools, workplaces, and homes where everyone can thrive is a high tide that will raise all boats.”
Excerpted from “10 Things I Wish the World Knew About ADHD” in ADDitude Magazine. Read the full article online.
Source: ADDitude Magazine | 10 Things I Wish the World Knew About ADHD, https://www.additudemag.com/living-with-adhd-facts | Copyright © 1998 – 2024 WebMD LLC. Retrieved December 2024.
