by Amy DiLaura, CHC Marketing Manager
Words Matter: Building Connection and Confidence in Your Children
As parents, we know the profound impact our words have on our children. What we say—and how we say it—can shape their self-esteem, confidence, and sense of belonging. Our children need to feel loved, heard, and encouraged, and they look to us for guidance, especially during challenging times. Here are specific moments when our words can make a difference, with suggestions for what to say to foster connection and growth.
When Your Child Makes a Mistake
Mistakes are an inevitable part of life. When your child makes one, it’s an opportunity for growth. By responding calmly and reassuringly, you can help them see mistakes as valuable lessons.
What to say:
- For all ages: “How can we move forward from here?”
- For younger kids: “Mistakes help us learn and grow.”
- For older kids and teens: “Mistakes are opportunities for growth.”
When Your Child Needs a Confidence Boost
Children thrive on positive reinforcement. Highlight their efforts rather than just the outcomes to build their resilience and confidence.
What to say:
- “I can tell you’re trying your hardest, and that’s what matters.”
- “I love how you colored your picture!”
- “Your creativity on this project is amazing!”
When Your Child Needs to Feel Heard
Sometimes, your child just needs you to listen without judgment or solutions. Show them they matter by being present and engaged.
What to say:
- “Do you want me to listen or offer suggestions?”
- “How can I help you?”
- Reflect what they’ve shared: “It sounds like you’re frustrated because of how your teacher handled this. Is that right?”
- “That sounds really tough; no wonder you’re upset.”
As parents, we know the profound impact our words have on our children. What we say—and how we say it—can shape their self-esteem, confidence, and sense of belonging.
When Your Child Needs to Know They Are Loved
Expressing love regularly helps children feel secure, accepted, and valued. A simple “I love you” is powerful, but specific affirmations can deepen the message.
What to say:
- “I love you no matter what, even when we’re upset with each other.”
- “I’m proud of your sense of humor and kindness.”
- “Although we’re disagreeing right now, my love for you doesn’t change.”
When Your Child Experiences Success
Celebrating accomplishments, big or small, encourages a positive self-image and intrinsic motivation.
What to say:
- “I’m so proud of you!”
- “I love seeing your hard work and dedication pay off!”
- “How are you feeling about your achievement?”
This gives your child space to reflect on their success and build self-pride.
When Your Child Feels Lonely
Friendship struggles can be especially hard on children and teens. Let them know they’re not alone, and work together to navigate social challenges.
What to say:
- “It sounds really hard not having someone to play with at recess.”
- “What do you enjoy doing at school? Let’s find someone who shares your interests.”
Encourage them to join activities, clubs, or social groups and model social skills at home.
Are you interested in learning more strategies to foster clear and compassionate communication with your child? Listen to our podcast in which we discuss the power of words and how they shape your child’s sense of self and connection.
When Your Child Feels Worried
Worry is a natural emotion, but it can feel overwhelming for kids. Acknowledge their feelings and offer reassurance.
What to say:
- “That sounds scary; I understand why you’re worried.”
- “It makes sense to feel this way. How can I help?”
- “We can figure this out together.”
Avoid dismissive statements like “Don’t worry” or “It’s no big deal,” which can minimize their emotions.
Our words are tools to nurture, guide, and empower our children. None of us gets it right all the time—and that’s okay. What matters most is showing up with love, listening with intention, and speaking with care. By doing so, we help our children grow into confident, resilient people ready to navigate life’s challenges.
