by Pardis Khosravi, PsyD, Clinical Director, Catherine T. Harvey Center for Clinical Services, CHC
The holiday season is often a time of joy, laughter, and cherished traditions. However, for a child who is grieving the loss of a loved one, the holidays can bring a mix of emotions that may be overwhelming.
What You Can Do to Support Your Grieving Child
1. Open Communication: Let the Emotions Flow
Encourage your child to express their feelings openly. Create a safe space where they can share memories, thoughts, and any concerns they may have about the upcoming holiday season. Make it clear that their emotions are valid, and that you’re there to listen without judgment. Sometimes, all they need is someone willing to hear what’s on their heart.
2. Honor and Remember: Keeping Memories Alive
Help your child find meaningful ways to honor and remember the person they’ve lost. This could involve creating a memory box, lighting a candle, or incorporating the loved one’s favorite traditions into your holiday celebrations. By including their presence in the festivities, you’re acknowledging that their memory is an essential part of your family’s history.
3. Be Flexible with Traditions: Embrace Change
Understand that the usual holiday traditions may be difficult for your grieving child. Be flexible and open to adapting or even creating new traditions that feel more comfortable for them during this challenging time. It’s okay to break from the norm and forge a new path that suits the needs of your family.
4. Provide Comfort Items: A Hug Goes a Long Way
Offer comfort items, such as a special blanket or stuffed animal, that can provide a sense of security and reassurance during moments of grief. These items act as a tangible source of comfort during the holiday season, providing a reminder that they are not alone in their emotions.
5. Seek Professional Support: You’re Not Alone
If you notice that your child is struggling with grief, consider seeking the assistance of a grief counselor or therapist who specializes in working with children. Professional support can provide valuable tools and coping strategies, ensuring that your child receives the help they need during this challenging time.
6. Include Them in Planning: Empower Through Involvement
Involve your child in planning holiday activities and ask for their input. Empowering them to have a say in the celebrations can provide a sense of control during a time that may otherwise feel overwhelming. This involvement can be a therapeutic way for them to navigate the holiday season.
7. Offer Consistent Support: Beyond the Holidays
Grief is a process, and it doesn’t adhere to a calendar. Be prepared to offer ongoing support beyond the holiday season. Your consistent understanding and support will be crucial in their healing journey. Let them know that you’re there for them, no matter the time of year.
8. Encourage Expression through Art: The Healing Power of Creativity
Art can be a therapeutic outlet for grief. Provide your child with art supplies and encourage them to express their emotions through drawing, painting, or other creative activities. This can be a powerful way for them to externalize their feelings and find solace in the creative process.
We’re here to help
Supporting a grieving child during the holidays requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to adapt. By incorporating these tips into your approach, you can help your child navigate this challenging time with grace, love, and a sense of connection. Remember, you’re not alone. If additional support is needed, Children’s Health Council experts are here to help.
Dr. Pardis Khosravi specializes in conducting comprehensive psychological evaluations and providing evidence-based psychotherapy to children, adolescents and transitional aged youth. She is passionate about psychological assessment as a tool to best understand each child’s strengths and weaknesses to empower the child and their family to utilize their strengths to increase resiliency and optimize academic, social and emotional functioning.
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