Parenting With Empathy [downloadable]

Want to parent with more empathy but can’t think of what to say? Here are some no-fail sentences to get you started in any situation.

Everyday Goodness

• We all make mistakes.
• Let’s do it together.
• You don’t have to eat everything. Check-in with your body to see if you feel full.
• There is nothing you can do that would make me love you any less.
• I’m here for you when you’re ready.
• You get to choose.
• You get started and come to me if you need help.

Validating Feelings

• All your feelings are ok.
• It makes sense to me that you’d feel [sad/scared/mad]. That didn’t go the way you wanted it to.
• Wow, you look so proud of yourself! I saw you [run really fast].
• Do you want to talk about it? (No.) Ok, I’m here if you change your mind.
• I’m guessing you feel [frustrated/sad/happy/scared/upset]. Is that how you feel?

Problem-solving in the moment

• Does this game still feel fun for everyone?
• What can I do to help?
• How can we make it work for everyone?
• I’m not willing for you to [hurt/hit/yell] at other people. I’m going to put my body here so that everyone is safe.
• This is tough. I’m going to pick you up and give you a big hug and we’ll go to a place where you can have all your feelings.
• I’m feeling flooded. It’s not your fault. I’m going to take care of myself and I’ll be back to check on you in 2 minutes.
• I would like to say “yes” to that solution. Here’s what I’m concerned about…

Teaching outside the moment

• Do you have any ideas about how we can solve this issue next time?
• What were your hitting hands trying to say?
• If you could go back in time, is there anything you would do differently in that situation?
• I wish I hadn’t yelled, that’s not the kind of parent I want to be. Next time when I’m feeling frustrated I will [take 5 deep breaths] before I talk.

Connection with consent

• Would you like a hug? (No.) Ok, I’m here if you change your mind.
• I’ve got a hug for you if you want it.
• It looks like you haven’t had enough hugs today. Want one?

Sharing

• Which toys are not shareable? Let’s put them away before your friend gets here.
• Can they use that toy when you’re done with it?
• There are two kids here and you both want one toy. How can we solve this?

Download your copy of these one-liners.

The parenting one-liners above are from parenting coach Cecilia Hilkey. Read more from Cecilia on the Happily Family website.

Source: HappilyFamily | The Best Peaceful Parenting “One-Liners”, https://www.happilyfamily.com/the-best-peaceful-parenting-one-liners | © 2023 Happily Family

Do you need someone to talk to? To schedule an evaluation or to get advice about your child’s or teen’s challenges, call or email a CHC Care Coordinator at 650.688.3625 or careteam@chconline.org CHC teletherapy services are available now.