As parents and teachers, you are the first line of support for kids and teens. It’s important for you to have an open line of communication with them and build a sense of trust. When your kids and teens are having difficulties, you want them to feel comfortable turning to you for help.
Getting your kids to open up and talk to you can feel like a challenge. The following tips can be helpful in starting a conversation and understanding what’s going on in their lives.
Make them feel safe
You want to put kids and teens at ease so they feel comfortable talking to you. It is essential to make it clear why you are talking with them. Kids especially are fearful that they may be in trouble or are being punished if they are pulled aside to talk. Reassure them that this is not the case and that you are there to offer support.
If your kid seems to need more help than you can provide, consult with an appropriate professional. You may want to start by talking to the school psychologist.
Listen to them
Take the time to actively listen to what your kid or teen has to say. Many times, all kids or teens want is someone who will listen to them. Try to understand their perspective before offering suggestions.
Affirm and support their need for help
If a kid or teen tells you they’re feeling sad or upset, for example, tell them you’re proud of them for sharing their feelings. Let them know you appreciate the courage it took for them to talk with you and for trusting you to help them. If your kid seems to need more help than you can provide, consult with an appropriate professional. You may want to start by talking to the school psychologist.
Be genuine
Try to avoid speaking from a script. Teens can tell when you’re not being genuine. If you are open, authentic, and relaxed, it will help them to be the same.
Don’t be afraid to say I don’t know
As a parent or teacher, it is OK to admit that you don’t have all the answers. However, if a kid or teen asks you something, you should make every effort to find an answer or someone who can help.
Let’s face it: parenting is hard. CHC experts are here to help. Check out our article on parent coaching, a type of therapy where parents and caregivers learn how to use specific skills and strategies to address behavioral challenges and/or support their child’s development.
Warning signs of suicide: Suicide is preventable
The two most important steps in preventing suicide are recognizing warning signs and getting help. Warning signs may include significant alcohol or drug use, a sudden drop in school performance or talking about death or hurting oneself. If you believe your child or student is in crisis, call 911 immediately and stay with him or her while help is on the way.
Excerpted from “Talking to kids when they need help” from the American Psychological Association. Read the full article online.
Source: APA | Talking to kids when they need help, https://www.apa.org/topics/parenting/helping-kids | copyright APA, last updated March 2022.
