by Pardis Khosravi, PsyD, Clinical Director and Licensed Psychologist at CHC
Let’s face it: parenting is hard. As a parent or caregiver, your goal is to raise your children to be healthy, happy, successful adults, but the road to get there is filled with twists and turns. It’s hard to know if you are making the right choices along the way, and the path may look different for each child.
There are endless books, websites and professionals out there offering advice, not to mention the (mostly) well intentioned opinions of family and friends. It can be overwhelming to try to navigate this tidal wave of information when deciding how to effectively handle parenting challenges in a way that aligns with your family values.
The parenting book on your nightstand may offer strategies that sound great in theory, but you struggle to implement them in real-time, especially once a situation has already escalated and emotions run high. Or maybe their “Top 5 Takeaways” didn’t work, and you feel like you’re back at square one. Parenting is an ever-evolving journey, unique to your child and family.
How Parent Coaching Works
Parent coaching is a type of therapy where parents and caregivers learn how to use specific skills and strategies to address behavioral challenges and/or support their child’s development. A parent coach is a certified professional with expertise in evidence-based strategies to address a wide array of challenges. They can help you look at the big picture and offer a neutral perspective. Your parent coach can work with you to implement individualized strategies and help you troubleshoot and adjust as you go. They can educate, support, and empower you to become the parent you want to be. Parent coaches are mental health therapists with expertise in parenting and child development, and you are the expert on your child. You will work together as a team to find solutions that work for you and your family.
You might be wondering – if my child is struggling, shouldn’t they be the one meeting with a therapist?
But there is a wealth of research that shows the efficacy of parent coaching. Why does parent coaching work? Part of it is simple math. Think about the number of hours your child spends with you versus one hour per week spent with a therapist. As with any new skill, practice is key. While a weekly therapy session can teach gold-standard strategies, parents and caregivers have many more opportunities to support their child in their real-life application—not to mention the benefits of consistency over time, in different environments and contexts.
Research shows a strong relationship between a child’s environment and their behaviors. Parent coaching can support parents and caregivers in creating an environment that fosters positive behaviors and reduces negative behaviors. For instance, parent coaching may help a parent implement a positive reinforcement system at home to increase a certain behavior or help a parent realize that they have been inadvertently reinforcing an undesired behavior and learn how to shift that dynamic.
Parent Coaching Strategies
Parent coaching can help a parent or caregiver receive support and address a number of parenting issues, including:
- How can you effectively set and enforce house rules? Are you being too strict or letting things slide too often? Are you going too far with your punishments or not far enough? How do you get your child or teen to abide by the rules or do their chores without a battle?
- How can you scaffold skills in an age-appropriate way to ensure that children are gaining independence? How can you balance structure and restrictions with allowing your child or teen to develop an age-appropriate amount of autonomy?
- How can you get your child to sleep through the night in their own bed? How do you ensure your kids and teens are getting enough sleep?
- What should you do if your child refuses to go to school or do their homework? How do you stop homework time from being a daily struggle?
- How can you help your child overcome fears, like fear of the dark or social anxiety?
- How can you improve your relationship with your child or teen through trust and communication?
Parent Coaching Options
Parent coaching can take place in-person, virtually or over the phone. It is useful for anyone who is caring for your child —parents, foster parents, grandparents, married, co-parenting or single parents, nannies, etc. Ideally, all parents/caregivers attend the sessions, but even if only one parent or caregiver can attend, parent coaching has still been shown to be effective.
Finding a Parent Coach
CHC’s Catherine T. Harvey Center for Clinical Services offers evidence-based, life-changing care for young children through young adults. Our parent coaching and support is a collaborative approach that will help you develop the best tools and practices for your children’s unique needs.
CHC has parent coaching available! Call or email us at 650.688.3625 or careteam@chconline.org to set up an initial consultation appointment.
